The one about placenta.

Placenta is to cannibalism as methadone is to drug addiction. It's horrifying to think that someone ever thought it was a good idea to put placenta into their mouth. And yet, some people swear it's tasty! Just ask "calvinsmom" from this disturbing website: When I asked what it tasted like they said it tasted like Filet Mignon. No joke.

Well roll me in butter and call me a biscuit! It sure looks like a treat to me! Hot DAMN, calvinsmom, I think you're on to something!!!If it doesn't blow your mind that we live in an age where one can find AFTERBIRTH RECIPES from a webmaster who spent time experimenting in the kitchen, brainstorming ideas, and then copied it all down to share with the world, you might just be as bad as they are. Who are they, you ask?

Aside from our friend calvinsmom, Alex Green is one such individual. For some reason, he feels a little bit angry at how society views the placenta. “It was really about provoking a debate about placentas and how we treat them.” What was about provoking debate you ask? He has created a Placenta Teddy Bear Kit. Read that last sentance again. Let it sink in for a little while. If you're still all "huh", here's a direct quote from Alex Green:

“(The Placenta "Twin Teddy" kit is a) crafty alternative for those who don’t necessarily want to eat their baby’s placenta , but want to pay their respects to the life-sustaining organ by turning it into a one-of-a-kind teddy bear. Green’s Twin Teddy Kit ‘celebrates the unity of the infant, the mother and the placenta,’ and enables preparation of the placenta so it may be transformed into a teddy bear.”

And how exactly do you make one of those? By cutting the placenta in half, curing with sea salt, drying it out entirely, and emulsifying it with tannen and egg yolk for malleability. And hell, why stop with a teddy bear? The possibilities seem endless! Oh, what else could be made? I'd have a lot of funny placenta statue suggestions if my brain weren't trying to vomit this idea out and far away from itself.

That debate you were hoping to provoke, Mr. Green? Not going to happen, although you might provoke my breakfast out of my digestive tract. You wouldn't want to disrespect something as important as breakfast, would you, Alex?
I wonder if it must be kept in a jar for fear of it coming to life and wreaking zombie havoc. This bear is seriously creepy looking, like something Leatherface would snuggle with during nap time.

Hypothetical question: if you found out your parents had made such a keepsake with your own afterbirth and then surprised you with it on your birthday, how freaked would you be on a scale of 1 to Ted Nugent?

The Pointy Bra is Back, y'all.

The fashion world is all abuzz with a surprising comeback! Sales of the pointy bra have been skyrocketing. Wait, real people? Like, with boobs? And EYES? Those in the know (and hopefully with more fashion sense than fashion consumers) are trying to tie the idea of the pointy bra to the incomparable Marilyn Monroe.

The last time you heard the word "pointy bra", did you think of good ole Madge? I seriously doubt it. This is my advice to those in the know: let's not make this any more painful than it has to be. Don't try to catch up with it. Just let the tacky be. Leave it alone. Because unless you moved into a cave in Borneo in the 1970s, when you hear "pointy bra" you will only be reminded of this massive 80s Intimate Wear FAIL:

PEW! PEW!

Bees That Feed on Human Tears

Once again, I so wish I was kidding. There are three species of worker bees that have evolved to depend on human tears for protein. Luckily for me, these bees are way the fuck over in Thailand. Don't believe me? Read em and weep.Way to be an asshole, bee. We already knew you were a douchebag with your built-in ass sword. You just had to have your mean cake and eat it, too. This is one of the most satirically villainous acts of assholery in nature. Just because you exist, I'm gonna start eating more honey. Oh, wait, was that yours? Whoops.