Hippies Just Got Dirtier (and not in the fun way)

Have you ever heard of the family cloth? It's an environmental measure taken to replace toilet paper with reusable squares of cloth. What would you do if you walked into someone's bathroom, couldn't find any TP, but saw this instead:

You might not have heard that a choice few of the environmentally-conscious are switching to cloth TP and challenging others to follow suit. Initially, the practice seems like an okay-if-you-can-live-like-that decision, but is it really? If one takes the measure to reduce tank water, or follow the "if it's yellow, let it mellow" rule, why is it better to use a washer instead? Surely you don't want to mix clothing with your soiled family cloth, but how can you stand the smell of the wipes even at a tenth of a washer load? And can you honestly say that you would wipe with a stranger's cloth, without a moment's hesitation about sanitation? Are you hoping that one day, everyone will carry their own poop-sheets around with them? Will mens' wallets afford space for wipes in the future? Really?

Not to mention the fact that family cloths have been commercialized by the tarts at Etsy.

Yeah, I said it.

The same* Phish-loving hippies with co-op memberships who think the words "indie" and "holy" are synonymous are putting their cause on hold for fucking ETSY sales. Yeah, that basil leaf of a business model that you felt so strongly about? It won't overpower the taste of your foot in your mouth

 
And what might these colorful duds be? Take a guess! If you guessed "menstrual pads", you lose! Because we all lose, and its Crea8tiveMama's fault. The idea of a woman wearing this makes me feel icky and gross (sorry to be poetic) in a way I can't put into words. Does it even look like these were made out of recycled materials, or like they came from Joanne's Fabrics on special? Again, take a wild guess! Who really knows where the fabric came from. Maybe from Wales, if it's flannel. Or maybe from Cangnan factory in China, which also makes post-it notes. PAPER. Not to mention Chinese labor laws and the idea of cutting costs by shopping at a fucking corporation.

 In short, I may not always believe in other people's rules; when they break their own rules is when I lose respect for them (My wise friend Will once said.) Their initiative forces me to think outside of my comfort level and that's the kind of conviction that gets shit done, but only after they've thoroughly researched the ideas and basic supplies they integrate. They call us non-cloth, paper-burning squares ignorant. Yet they haven't met a bandwagon they didn't like. 



*Disclaimer: not all Etsy sellers are hippies. I have it on good authority that quite a few are Christian housewives/Mormons that wield glue-guns (shock!) and paper-craft machines (awe!).