Write For Us

Are you a fan of inappropriate laughter? Do you think Aesop was a kiss ass who desperately needed to get laid? Do you speak non-broken English or can you at least be super witty in not-so-fluent English?

Why hello, long lost bestie!

My archives are a saddening indication of how little time I have to update this blog. I heart it so, but perhaps new perspectives would engender some communal spirit among those soon to be cannibalized for not giving a head nod to Lady Gaga. Let's get bohemian about the end of the world hatching out of a fucking egg costume, y'all.

A few things...

• Content must be unique. Spun content does not work on me.
• No phony guest author names or bios. I will not publish anyone who wants me to credit them as "MajikOrchidBawlz" or "FanGurlSteph1987" and I refuse to take credit for work that isn't mine.
• If links deserve to be in the post, go for it. Knock yourself out. But I mean deserved. Unlimited links within reason, such as a top 50 list. Only 2 links, however, are allowed in the byline and must be of personal significance only.
• Links cannot redirect nor point at an affiliate marketer's site (see note at bottom of page.) No exceptions.
• All submitted content will receive an approval/denial notice within 72 hours. If no notice has been received, content will not go live. And I may be dead.
• I reserve the right to edit your content (including links) as I see fit.
• If edits occur, an email containing the complete edited content will be sent. You'll have 10 days to respond after which the content will be emptied of links and may or may not go live. My call. You may choose to rescind your content post-edit if that is your wish, no questions asked, but only within 10 days of receiving an edit notice.
• Absolutely NO links for general douchebaggery unless you are identifying a culprit worthy of shame with a keyword to match.

So c'mon, Chicken Little, tell me why the sky is falling. Srsly. But also for the lulz.

Submit your guest post on my About page.


Note at bottom of page: 
Please note that I do know the distinction between an affiliate market website and an actual marketer who contributes relevant content within their demographic for brand visibility and links. I've got a huge amount of respect for the latter. If you find yourself in the former, well, your contribution might make my site explode because you, sir, (or madam) are a sign of the apocalypse.


Also of note, I am not a Christian. This blog is not about the book of revelations or biblical prophecy, nor is it a pop culture incarnate of Jack van Impe. Debatable. If you don't know that by now, you probably don't exist so I'm only writing this sentence for fun.